My COVID Diaries: the hedonic treadmill

If you are anything like me, you may have spent large blocks of your life – or even your whole life – feeling “you will be happy when…”.

I will be happy when I get into vet school; I will be happy when I become a vet; I will be happy once I am no longer a new graduate.

At some stage for me, that swapped to I will be happy when I get engaged; I will be happy when I have a baby.

We convince ourselves that we would feel utterly different if we could only do the next thing. Yet, so often, that happiness is short‑lived, or not quite as good as we had imagined.

No sooner have you reached the magic goalposts, you are straining for the next in a constant quest for a seemingly unobtainable future contentment.

If you have ever felt like you are on a continuous treadmill, it is probably because you are – the hedonic treadmill.

Stable happiness

Hedonic adaptation is the theory we, as humans, will repeatedly return to a stable level of happiness, no matter the magnitude of the change to our life. Put simply, this is why making more money, getting a promotion, or losing weight does not necessarily bring you greater happiness.

It is easy during lockdown to get lost in wondering when we will all feel happier. I look forward to the day when I can hug my family and friends, and invite them into my home again.

But I know in my heart that the joy of that first hug will not be quite the same the second or third time. The grief of the past few months of social isolation will fade quickly.

Coping tool

While hedonic adaptation is often viewed in the context of ever‑diminishing happiness and a constant feeling of slight dissatisfaction, it can also be a hugely beneficial coping mechanism.

Because no matter how many times we say that life will never be the same again after lockdown, the reality is that it will not feel that dramatic for long.

No matter how strange something may be, it is nearly impossible not to get used to it after a while. We are now a quarter of a year into lockdown practice life, and to be honest, it is starting to feel pretty normal.

Nowadays, if a client tries to enter the building, we instantly leap to our feet, arms outstretched like bodyguards in scrubs, shrieking “no! No! There’s a sign!” before turning to each other to shake our heads in disbelief. What on earth were they thinking, opening the front door?

A situation as simple as a client walking through a door now feels completely alien. At the same time, things that felt new and frightening just a few weeks ago have quickly become routine.

Across the globe, we keep hearing that life will never be the same again. I am certain that is true, but hedonic adaptation says that for most of us, that will not be how we experience it.

Whatever the future has in store for us, positive or negative, the intensity will quickly fade as we return to our steady state. It may not be the same, but we probably will not feel that different.

Thankful

I am working hard not to live my life in a constant state of “I will be happy when…”, but for now at least, I am thankful for my hedonic treadmill. It may make it tricky to feel fully content, but I know it also protects me from feeling strange or frightened for too long, either.

As we face an uncertain future, I am reassured that whatever future life will be, it will soon feel pretty normal – just like it did before.